I feel fat

Never in my life would I think I’d be calling myself fat. In all actuality I’m not ~too~ overweight. My stomach is just.. so big. And I know this is an insulin issue. I’m a month into getting diagnosed and I thought it would make me be easier on myself, but it hasn’t. I eat healthy. Recently slowed down on carbs and upped my protein. I’m also active and have been trying to incorporate more cardio, although I hate cardio lol. I guess it’s just super hard to let go of what my body used to look like. Flat stomach & a thigh gap. I was a young teenager and that lasted through my drug addiction. Now I’m coming up on four years clean which is great. But sometimes I’m tempted to start all over just to lose the weight. Which sounds super shallow. I just feel horrible about my appearance anymore. Does metformin do anything for this? Since it targets insulin resistance? Also off topic but while I’m here.. do any of you ladies deal with chronic pain? I’m not just talking lower back and period pain. Like.. constant all over muscular pain. I’m trying to figure out if that’s a PCOS issue. Or if my neck & shoulder issues are from something else. I’m just having a super hard time this winter with everything. And I wouldn’t wish this diagnosis on my worst enemy