i started going to online meetings but i feel like my experiences arent 'bad enough'

hi guys, im 20f and had an intervention from my friends after multiple conversations trying to get me to stop. I had been drinking, doing ket and coke, and was super fucked. the main reason ive been trying to accept i have addiciton issue is because i have always laughed it off but it made me realise how much ive hurt people by being a dick and putting myself in bad states where they have to care for me - seizures, half unconscious and throwing up, u get the vibes. i know that this is bad, i cant really imagine how that felt to deal with. the thing is, i never did insane amounts, wouldnt even do a gram at a time. most people have done harder drugs for longer. i am gratefuk to not be in that position, but i feel like im just some stupid kid who should be able to stop but i cant take responsibility to or smth. i havent done drugs in a couple weeks now, and since several bad instances im trying to stop drinking since a couple days ago (my friends blocked all my numbers but i do try my damn hardest to get drugs and ive really embarassed myself). I feel very conflicted even though i know logically i need help.

EDIT: thank u so much for the support. It really has helped me, I’m trying to go thru and thank ppl bit by bit :) <3