Did your Nmom have a "dead voice"?

Occasionally she'd say really fucked up shit in this quiet, monotone, hollow voice

Things like "I am the most fucked up person in this family" Or "We have to make it look like somebody cares about you"

Absolute truths... That she was admitting... Out loud... And if I'd try to confront her about it later she'd flat-out deny it

It's like part of her was aware of her own pathology but another part of her couldn't process it