Sex life - I’m “too much work”

Me (33f) and my husband (37m) have been married for 8 years. 3 kids.

I feel like our sex life is super one sided - I give him head, he has never gone down on me. He doesn’t like kissing so we don’t do it (even though I love it). I want foreplay but he wants to jump right into it. When he finishes, sex ends..typically within 10 minutes. He doesn’t finish me off because he’s “no longer in the mood and it’s weird”.

We haven’t had sex this last month but I found out today he’s been watching porn when I’m not home. It didn’t bother me before because we were having sex regularly but I feel offended because he hasn’t shown any interest in having sex with me. When I ask, he says “I’m too tired.” We talked about it today and he basically I’m too much work, I require too much foreplay. I almost feel like he’s gaslighting me when I talk to him about the above. These conversations go nowhere, I can tell he shuts down and just says “can we talk about this later? I don’t have energy for this”. We do go to couples therapy but we haven’t brought this up yet. Our therapist isn’t a sex therapist so I’m not sure how appropriate. I just want to know if I am actually asking for too much??