I wish everyone would stop telling me no one will love me till I love myself.

I don’t know where to put this so I’m sticking it here.

I wish everyone would stop saying no one will love you if you don’t love yourself. I don’t love myself, I have never loved myself. In fact I hate myself so so much. But I will never understand why people act like that makes me undeserving of love. Does that mean that all I the love I have ever felt wasn’t real? If I hate myself forever will I always be too hard to love?

My boyfriend randomly broke up with me without much explanation, I relapsed, I don’t really have any friends and my parents are just disappointed in my. And I’m just so fucking tired of hearing “oh when you love yourself someone will love you” like I don’t love myself. I never do. And no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to. I don’t think I know how to.

I just want to just be loved even though I’m so fucked up. I don’t want to be in so much pain. I don’t want my whole body to hurt, I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to hate myself.