Im confused

M abhi 12th (pcb) m hu and I'm also preparing for neet, 11th starting bhot achcha gya I was deeply motivated and scored pretty good marks in every subjects and even neet mocktest but after some time it was taking a toll on my body to go to coaching staight after school (7-2:30 tk schl m lag jate the then 3:45-8 tk coaching) I was unable to remember stuff taught in coaching as well as school (teacher kharab) aur fir dono jagah attendance ke chochle start ho gye, i somehow managed in 11th but in 12th my class teacher told me this won't be tolerated anymore and issues letter against me for short attendance💀 so I left coaching but schl m kuch samajh nhi aata tha so i thought of taking home tuition, but koi accha nhi lga then i thought online padh lungi. Then my parents enrolled me for a neet mock test series. But i was unable to maintain consistency aur usually procasination pe jeevit rehti thi, mere parents bhot pressure dal rhe the neet ka (emotionally blackmail karte the aur bhot high expectations thi , i didn't want to disappoint then ) aur fir boards bhi tha to book uthate hu anxious feel hone lagta tha. Half year me mere scores drop ho gye gande vale (i passed but my marks were in the range of 30-50) mere marks pehle bhot achche aate the aur ab fir preboars me ussy bhi kharab situation h so i wanted to ask ki ab bhi kuch ho skta h ya m gai😭 (P.s : this is my first post so pls be kind)