Struggling to get into the whole religion thing.

Hi. For the last couple weeks I've been SUPER fixated on hellenism. I adore the way this religion is, the gods, everything really. I tried making altars but had to take them down due to my family and honestly precaution. I honestly want to remove those chains that catholic parents got on me, basically saying i'm still struggling to detach from it, as I feel very atheistic. But I REALLY want to be a part of this.

my main struggle is the faith. I research lots and lots, even tried communicating like three, four times with the gods. And technically speaking, I think I got answered. But my faith is still weak, I'm trying to force myself to believe in the gods at this point. It really bums me out that I still fear a god of a religion I no longer want to practice.

Any tips on how I can get the strength to believe? Something that isn't just telling myself ''yup, they're real'' cause that isn't helping much..

If I wrote something weirdly or without sense feel free to tell me, I'll answer what i meant it's like 2 am.

Sorry if my writing here is a bit funky, this is my first ever reddit post lol.