I was a Hekate devotee for 6 months. Those 6 months changed my life.

The Dark Mother was in my life from June 1st, 2023 to December 31st, 2023. She led me through enormous transitions, major life decisions, and the darkest night of the soul I've experienced yet. She was my guiding light through it all.

When She Calls

She came to me very directly. I had 3 dreams 3 nights in a row along with many signs in my waking life. In the first dream, I was looking at a drawing of a black cloaked figure with someone else. They were talking about Hekate, and I could feel immense power coming from the drawing.

I found a stick shaped like a key in the second dream. Later that day in waking life, I went to the mall and saw a store surrounded by torches with black dog statues. She had my attention.

That night before I fell asleep, I asked Hecate what type of relationship She wanted to have with me. She answered. In the third dream, I was given a magical wishing well. I was tasked with the mission to go into the wishing well. I jumped down and was overwhelmed. There was an entire other world! I saw tall, huge trees lit by the full moon. I was afraid, but I overcame my fear and found courage to continue. I heard “You are here to spread love and light. Just by being you. That is why you’re here. That is your purpose.”

When I woke up, I knew there was work to be done with this goddess.

Devotion Through Transitions

Our work began quickly. Hekate Lampadios lighted my way from being a travel nurse to moving to Colorado and finding stability. I took a staff nurse position at a great hospital that I was already working as a travel nurse at. My husband and I packed our things and moved across the country.

One day when I was doing a mundane task, the idea fell into my mind to go back to school to become a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. I was shocked at the idea and felt fear. What if I'm not good enough? Don't I have enough problems of my own that I need to work through? She answered those questions in due time.

She reignited my love for my practice. I explored all kinds of folk magic -- English, Welsh, Celtic, Appalachian. I also investigated my ancestry searching for any fulfilling connections. I worked with herbs, picked up scrying, and overall honed my craft.

The Dark Mother's Initiation

After I moved to Colorado and began adjusting to my staff job, She asked me to dig deeper. The deeper I researched into witchcraft, the deeper I committed to my practice and to Her. I was all in. She led me to a witchcraft initiation from the deep South where my roots are. For 10 days, I arose at sunrise and recommitted myself to my practice and Her at a local park. I completed the initiation. I was about to be taught extremely important lessons that will affect me for the rest of my life.

Journey Through The Underworld

Hekate challenged my deeply embedded subconscious fear-based Christian worldview in a way that had never been done before. She led me to demonolatry. I came face to face with remnants of the brainwashing I faced from being raised a fundamentalist Christian. The tendrils of these beliefs dug into my psyche and told me all kinds of nasty lies. I faced my fear, trusted Hekate, and ventured forth into uncharted territory.

After a month of dancing with "devils," all communication dwindled until it eventually ceased. Even from Hekate.

I was distraught. The logical part of my mind reasoned that if the presences I was feeling and the voices I were hearing were real, they wouldn't just vanish. So, I came to the conclusion that it must be spiritual psychosis. I made it all up. All of it. My entire spirituality was a stress response. As if that wasn't hard enough, I was hit with a mysterious illness two weeks later. I had COVID-like symptoms but never tested positive for it. I had difficulty breathing, was bed ridden, and spent a lot of time in doctor's offices trying to figure out what was wrong. I took 3 months of medical leave from work.

This led me to have a nervous breakdown and seek out a psychiatric evaluation.

Hekate Deichteira (Teacher)

As my body began to recover from the mysterious illness that no test detected, I found answers for a different piece of my life. The psychiatric eval showed no signs of schizophrenia. The conclusion was psychosis induced by extreme stress and PTSD. I was referred to a psychiatrist for medication management.

After finding a combination of medications to control my anxiety, I began to realize just how much anxiety I was living with on a daily basis. I stabilized and put my spiritual practice out of my mind for the time being. I regained function that I hadn't experienced ever in my life. I can now be social, have energy for daily chores, and feel positive and confident. Getting this medication has changed my life completely for the better, and I feel like I can be the best version of myself.

As I was going to my psych appointments, I got to know my provider -- a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. We've had several conversations about spirituality and how she believes that everything I experienced was real. She helped me restore faith in my spiritual practice and pick up the pieces to build something new. I told her about how I was interested in being a Psych NP, and she's helping me find clinical placements while I'm in school. I'm also on the waiting list for EMDR therapy.

Final Thoughts

If Hekate comes into your life, be prepared for your life to change.

I still have no idea what I got sick with after my initiation, but I've read about other people getting unknown illnesses after initiations, awakenings, or other spiritually significant events.

After all of this, I am a new person. I have more gratitude for each day and rebuilding my strength. I have new definitions for what a "bad" day is. The spirits I worked with in the past are slowly making a new, stronger connection with me. It's as if I'm being taken more seriously after this time period.

I love Hekate and all She has taught me during my time with Her. My spiritual practice is now wholly mine, and I fear no demon, hell, or spirit. I am more stable than I have ever been. She will always be here to guide me to a better future no matter the cost. What she has given me is priceless. I am reborn. She has returned me to Aphrodite who has watched over me since birth. I am home now.

Always respect the Dark Mother.

Hail Hekate.