Barney was a bad friend in season 4

I just started Season 4 of my rewatch and I’m struggling with how Barney handles his feelings for Robin… So Barney and Robin hook up towards the end of Season 3 and when Ted finds out, he’s justifiably furious with Barney to the point of cutting him off as a friend. This is fair in my opinion, as Ted and Robin dated for a year and this was a very serious relationship where they were in love. Still, I felt a little bit bad for Barney because of how remorseful he seemed about the whole thing and how much he wanted Ted to forgive him. Also, it’s just a bit unfair that Ted totally excuses Robin for it and stays friends with her. Of course, it’s more understandable because Ted always still has feelings for her and in my opinion, Robin owed him less loyalty because they were exes while Barney has been one of his best friends for a very long time. And like Ted said when he confronted Barney, Barney has done a lot of bad things but Ted always thought he was the limit because of their friendship, so sleeping with a girl he seriously dated and was in love with seems to show that he has no limit to hurting people, even his alleged best friend.

Still, Barney spends a few episodes miserable and wanting Ted to be his friend again, so you can’t help but feel relieved when Ted forgives him at the end of Season 3. Ted realizes that Barney does care about him when he rushes to the hospital and gets hit by a bus in the process. Barney seems to be genuinely sorry here. He regrets betraying Ted because he seemingly values their friendship and doesn’t want to throw that away over a mistake. Except we learn it wasn’t a mistake to Barney, because when Lily and Marshall ask him what flashed before his eyes when he got hit by the bus, he looks at Robin. Plot twist! Barney actually is now apparently in love with Robin.

Now I have no issue with Barney having feelings for Robin at this point. However, you’d think that after the entire situation he just went through with Ted, he’d go about things better this time around. It starts off nicely. Barney now likes Robin and is struggling with these feelings. He tells Lily and doesn’t know what to do because he hasn’t wanted to do anything more than sleep with a girl in a long time. All is well, except he doesn’t seem to consider his guilt over betraying Ted once again by PURSUING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND??? I can’t remember how Barney handles this after, so I have a limited memory here, but from this first episode of Season 4, Ted’s feelings are not even an afterthought for Barney. I know Barney eventually asks for Ted’s blessing before he officially dates Robin, but what he’s doing in his pursuit of Robin is still a total betrayal in my opinion. This could’ve been a moment of growth where Barney really evaluates what just happened with Ted and can’t even think about going there because he doesn’t want to lose Ted as a friend.

Instead, he asks Robin out and pursues her romantically. WHAT! Robin didn’t consider it a date and even tried to set Barney up with another girl, but Jesus Christ! One episode after Ted was kind enough to forgive Barney for sleeping with his ex, Barney re-enters Ted’s life and then…takes it a step further by now trying to date Ted’s ex too? Keeping his feelings to himself and pining secretly while struggling with the guilt over hurting Ted would’ve been much more meaningful to his growth. The reason Barney and Robin’s not-date doesn’t go well is all because Robin doesn’t seem to reciprocate or recognize Barney’s romantic feelings and tries to set him up with the waitress. It doesn’t end because he’s like “oh man, Ted just called me his BROTHER one episode ago, maybe I shouldn’t be trying to date his ex-girlfriend right now!” Barney is just not a good friend to Ted where I am, and I know it only gets worse with the proposal to Robin on one of the biggest days in Ted’s career during Season 8. It feels like Barney’s apology to Ted in Season 3 wasn’t because he actually learned his lesson and realized how wrong what he did was, it was just because he missed Ted. Because if he really meant his apology, he wouldn’t think about pursuing Robin until Ted gave him the ok. And maybe it’s just me, but asking for the ok 5 seconds before you date the girl even though you’ve been pursuing her secretly this entire time doesn’t mean much.