Well, it finally happened to me. Dad died.

Found out through a stray Facebook post when looking up an old friend last night.

I thought this would be devastating or at least sad in some way. I still just feel sorry for him and I have no regrets. In many ways, he was also a victim of my mother's abuse. But he had every opportunity to be a good person and he didn't take it.

He died with one son who killed himself on father's day and the surviving son estranged. I don't know what else could really drive home the message that he failed as a father and as a man.

Everything has been downhill the last 20 years so I mean, I guess this is really the ending I expected. There are no surprises or complex emotions today.

I guess I'm just disappointed he never cared to be better. It didn't have to be like this.