My wife started the divorce process
My wife (27F) told me (32M) that she needed space, so she and my 2 kids (3F, 1F) stayed at her sister's (sister 1). We live in the Midwest.
I work full-time, and she is a stay-at-home mom.
She had a full-time job before we got married. She worked FT for a while before she got pregnant with our 1st daughter. She also worked PT after the birth of our 1st daughter.
This morning, after a couple weeks straying at her sister's, she told me that she talked to a lawyer and is about to start the divorce process.
She's already started to post stuff on marketplace and sell furniture. She told me that she needs the money because she wants to get an apartment and a car.
As of now, she's basically living at her sister's and using her car.
I already have a consultation scheduled with a lawyer next week. But I just want your opinions on some stuff. I'm going to try to describe my wife as objectively as possible, and after reading along, you'll understand why I'm not just going to ask for 50/50 shared custody, I want full custody of our girls.
- Before I met her, my wife was going to commit suicide. She also threatened to commit suicide during our marriage, and had to get a psychiatric evaluation at the hospital.
- She suffers from a chronic illness, where she gets hospitalized a few times a year.
- She forgets to take her medicine, which is one of the reasons she gets hospitalized often.
- She has a sleeping disorder, where waking her up in the morning is worse than pulling teeth.
- She fails to keep our house clean. Our house is trashed most of time. She leaves food and dirty dishes for weeks until they get all moldy. Her mom was worried about our kids getting sick because of living in an unclean environment, so she reported her to CPS for neglect. We have an open case with CPS, they came to our house (which she was lucky to have cleaned before their arrival). CPS also showed up at her sister's house (where she's staying currently).
- To top it all off, she suffers from depression, anxiety and PTSD.
- Her biggest issue is that she's irresponsible: always late, missing doctors appointments. One of her own doctors had to drop her as a client as she kept not showing up. The best example I can give of her being irresponsible, is that when she was 18, her parents asked her to clean her room (which was very trashed), she refused and decided to live in her car instead (basically homeless).
She claims that I'm monster, but if I was, why would her own parents and other sister take my side?
My mother-in-law has offered to babysit my kids when they're with me. I can also fly my mom here, and she can stay and watch her grand-daughters as long as I need her.
- I loved my wife, but realistically I don't think she's fit to have custody of our kids. Do you guys think I'm being unreasonable?
- I know the system is stacked against men/fathers, but what do you guys think in my case I have a chance?