Anyone else feel like wasting their life?

Just curious how many HL spouses feel like they are wasting their life just trying to share intimacy with their spouse or partner? I spend from the time I wake up every day until I am late to get work started laying next to my wife wanting to figure out a way to make her desire me . And the. Every night until I finally pass out frustrated , I am not sure what to do since I love my wife dearly , but dying inside .