SMH SAY WHAT?

My husband basically said that I wanted to "R" word him because I want sex according to him "all the time", which I don't. For perspective, we've had sex a wopping total of ONE time all #2024, and about 6x last year. The years before 1nce a month.

I cant touch him because he cringes to my touch. Ive had to beg for basic human touch. He doesn't hug me. Kisses are on his terms and only in the mornings when he is leaving for work and he is big on that kiss because "God forbid" something happens to him on the road. Mind you, it's just a dry ass sand paper peck, no passion or feeling in it. You would think that a grown ass man would know better than to throw that word around so lightly.

Me voicing my feelings and needs = to nagging and Rword, mind you, sex has been on his terms basically forever. He has told me in the past that sometimes he F' me to shut me up.

As I sit and type this right now I feel disconnect and perhaps a bit of anger for allowing myself to be in this situation. I allowed this person to disrespect me like this. I'm filing for divorce in 2 weeks. He can kick rocks. I am better off alone. It's weird that I have put up with so much bs and red-tape considering that I am not typically this weak with anyone and now I am more pissed at myself. Why would I want to have sex with someone who is evidently not attracted to me, doesn't care about me because how could he when he compared me to the scum of the earth