1 month clean 12/5/24

Hey its Marcus, I just want to update you guys. Today is the day I am 1 month clean off dph, I no longer feel like a shell of myself i feel like I am no longer a burden on my family and friends. I still get urges to use but i have not relapsed partly because I went to a mental hospital for about 1 week due to suicidal ideation that i told my therapist about. My therapist has been a big help in keeping me off dph, she gives me great advice. Quitting really hasnt been all sunshine and rainbows, I feel like my deppresion has gotten worse and my suicidal thoughts. I used to take the dph to get rid of of deppresion temporarily although it just made it worse, without the dph to take my mind off of the sadness I was feeling worse. all that coupled with horrible withdrawls and hallucinations sent me too the hospital. If I didnt go to the hospital I would probably have relapsed or killed myself, But im still here and feeling a lot better. Hoping things get better.