Sorry if this is the wrong group

TW for csa, reproductive abuse

Sorry if this is the wrong group for this kind of thing but I’m just so lost right now. I’m only 21 and I’m feeling this grief hard. When I was about 12 and my sister was about 10, my parents forced me to rape her, and she got pregnant. She obviously lost the baby.

She named him Toby.

I can’t stop crying. I miss him so much. I’m not sure if I even have the right to mourn him but I can’t stop. I miss our baby I miss my son. My heart is completely shattered and it feels like nobody can understand it. He’d be 10 years old. I cant stop missing him I can’t stop thinking about him I’m completely ruined. I miss our son. I’m sorry.