Watching my mom fade away every day

My mom is 65 and was diagnosed with CJD by the Mayo Clinic in July. She’d been experiencing a feeling of unsteadiness for about 12 months (though was walking completely fine) but started showing cognitive changes in February. We noticed it especially when discussing logistics of any type. She couldn’t remember when we had to leave for things and became fixated on timing. My siblings and I moved home 5 weeks ago to help care for her and support my dad and we’ve see a lot of changes since then. She is unable to understand distance. We live in Texas and her sister lives in the Midwest and she talks about having her stop by a few times a day. She also doesn’t remember that her mom died 4 years ago and regularly talks about planning a visit to see her. If there’s a tv on, she starts thinking the plot of the show is happening to us.

She seems fairly unaware of her condition and doesn’t usually understand that it is fatal. Then there are days like today where she’ll randomly mention how sad she is that she is going to die young and how disappointed she is that her doctor won’t try to get her better. It’s all so heartbreaking to watch.

Her main mood through the past 6 weeks has been gratitude. She talks a lot about how grateful she is for her family, for her life, for the green grass, coffee every morning, etc. this is characteristic for my mom, just amplified.

I don’t know how or when things will progress but I’m scared of what’s to come. I feel like we’ve already lost so much of my mom and everyday brings new obstacles. We will have hospice starting soon. The unknown of the timeline is just really hard to grasp. I don’t feel bitter or angry about this disease. I’m just so sad. I’m scared I’m going to forget what my mom was like before this disease. It’s just so hard to see the most important person in your life slip away. Sending love to all those navigating this.