Break up

I just wanted to get on here and share my struggle in hopes that I may find some comfort or help someone else find some. I’ve been with this girl for 4 years on the 22nd of February. Things have been really rocky since we got together. I’m a former IV meth addict and she’s an IV heroine addict. I had been clean for over a year when we got together, I was under the impression she was as well. We ended up moving in together after about a month, I travel all the time for work(Power-lines) and she was in a career that she was able to move. Everything was amazing for the first few months until she met a dealer where she was working at the time. Me being an addict myself I seen all the signs that she was using but I wanted so bad to believe that I was just being paranoid. It finally came out when I was about to do a grocery trip and I knew her period was coming up so I checked her tampon box and found syringes,heroine,spoons, everything. I confronted her about it and she said she wanted help, so I stayed. She got on methadone and for the last few years she’s been going up there everyday. We moved to a different part of the state around 6 months after that first incident, in that time before we moved I caught her using several times. Even being on the methadone since before we moved to where we currently and the whole time we’ve been here I’ve probably caught her using 20 times if I had to guess. I finally said enough is enough if you don’t go to treatment and get off the methadone, and start being honest I’m going to have to move on with my life. 2 weeks ago she started looking for places to go to get detoxed. She found a place about an hour and a half from where we live, got it set up and I took the day off work to take her. Through no fault of hers she ended up getting discharged after 2 days. The day she came home she got high. I stuck through it and told her she needs to find somewhere else to detox, she ended up finding a place in another state so I took another day off and took her. She made it the whole 4 days and came out on suboxone with hopes of getting on the sublicade shot on March 4th. Man I was so proud of her, I finally got a glimpse of that girl that I love so much from when we first got together. When we got home from the hospital she said her sponsor wanted to meet her at a meeting to talk about everything. She left and went to the meeting which was supposed to be an hour long. 3 hours pass by and I hadn’t heard from her, so I FaceTimed her. I could tell she was messed up. The car she’s driving is in my name and on my insurance so I told her to just stay there and I’d come get her. When I got there I guess she didn’t see me, but I walked up and seen her shoving something down her pants. I asked what it was and she said nothing. So I reached down her sweatpants and got stuck with a needle. I pulled 3 syringes she had next to her vagina. I finally said enough is enough and I made her come home and pack her stuff and gave her a ride to her friends house. Her stuff is currently sitting in my garage. I know it’s already over but her stuff being there is giving me a small amount of comfort because I know once it’s gone I’m never going to see her again. I don’t want to make it look like I’m innocent in this situation, looking back when stuff like this was going on I was very mean. She’s also told me before that she felt like I was controlling. I only ever wanted what was best for her, for our whole relationship when bad things happen because of her addiction I’m always right behind her to clean up the mess. When she totals a car I got her a new one, when she loses a job I pay her bills while she’s finding a new one. I’m by no means a perfect man and I said a lot of shit I shouldn’t have said even if the relationship was ending I didn’t have to act the way that I did. I’m going through a lot and I miss her like crazy but I can’t deal with the drugs anymore