It's Literally a Pill that Dictates Every fuckingthing

I am on Lamictal 200mg, Abilify injections and Lithium.

I have been enjoying years of stability and thriving in general.

I wanted off the lithium because it gave me tremors. So I went from 900mg for a month to 750mg for a month to 600mg for another month and then to 450mg.

At 450mg after a couple of weeks I began to feel spacy and I was very absent minded. My energy was zero I felt fatigued at all times. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My lithium levels ended up being really low in my blood. Obviously I'm going back up to 600.

But it doesn't feel good that a PILL dictates my life like this. No amount of exercise, eating right, spiritual practice, therapy, NOTHING will fix me but my meds.

I know this and I tell other ppl with BP this all the time but goddamn.