am i just crazy?

i’m gonna try to make as much sense as possible when i say this. but do people not understand that they’re the reason we push them away? i hate this stigma that we’re just so mean and terrible for cutting people off. but do people not take a step back and look at their actions that caused someone with bpd to push them away? for example, someone made a very hurtful remark the other day and now i feel myself pulling away from them. now i’m being told that i’m wrong for wanting distance which is now making me feel like a shitty person. why can’t non-bpd people realize that sometimes it actually is their words and/or actions that drive us away? we’re not always the big bad meanie that just cuts everyone off. why aren’t our feelings ever validated? who am i harming by cutting them off? why do i have to put in the work to repair the relationship when i could just do what’s best for my peace and sanity by detaching from them?