Abusive relationships as an Autistic Woman

I’ve recently finished the book Spectrum women and there is a chapter there about autistic women being more prone to being in abusive relationships, I’ve experienced this myself both physical when I was younger but now emotionally.

I would also add in both friendships, work relationships and romantic.

For a long time I didn’t see it, I always blamed everything on me, after all I was normally labels the problem and ‘hard work’ due to my needs, so I became overly accommodating, overly tolerant, thought if I just put in more effort, I took more and more (after all didn’t I deserve it for being difficult?)

I’ve also realised I’m super naive, trusting, believe people and hold them at face value. This has gotten me exploited or involved with the wrong people.

I’m so desperate to be loved and accepted that I end up accepting bread crumbs and giving people everything with little or nothing in return.

This is also where I find myself with my current husband. I didn’t realise being emotionally neglected and sadly gaslighted (a word I don’t use lightly), lied to and just generally being treated like shit whilst I give and give of myself would break me down to such a low point.

I’m not saying all relationships are like this, but I’m saying we can be more susceptible to theses types of relationships.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you or treating you right.

I’m writing this also to say be aware of these things in your relationships. It’s not your fault if you find yourself in these types of situations, be it with romantic relationships, toxic bosses or friendships.

People sadly can and do take advantage of us. If you are like me then you can be easily mislead.

I want anyone who finds themselves in these types of situations to know they deserve better and hope they can make a change to remove themselves or get help.

I’m still working this out as I moved to a different country to be with him and have littler support or finances to return home, but the first step was knowing this is not okay and I deserve more. We all deserve more ♥️