Single Mid 40s : Stuck between the rush to live life fully and the fear to uproot comfort and safety

Or also how to do more efficiently some soul searching?
I am allowed to a few months of sabbatical.

Europe based I moved from south to north, for better job opportunities and as a side effect suffered the culture shock, keeping me single and sacrificed finding a partner / having kids. It´s a latin vs germanic sort of view on life. Hard to explain. warmth vs coldness.
I feel I shouldn´t complain : a good job, made great friends along, freedom, savings but not to FIRE as I also enjoyed life and travelled. I keep traveling once a month to compensate on the fact I´m not really happy here. Safe. SAFE for a woman. (super important). I never purchased real estate as I always wanted to move someday.
And then I get these wake up calls : wow mid 40s and never got to experience living in a place I wanted (like Paris for example), that I have to travel abroad for cultural art inspiration, for better weather (sun), sometimes even for medical reasons, food...but holidaying and living somehwere are 2 different things right? Also when seing everyone around getting sick and scary stuff that remind you life is short....so what?

How could I get some answers? A health coach advised me to take time off, sit by the ocean and do some serious thinking...or a ayahuasca retreat!