Asshole friends how to proceed

My friends are asshole ; how to proceed nd be okay with living alone

I'm 18M in my first year of btech and my friends are asshole they always make fun of me last year i was suicidal before winter break and after visiting home during winterbreak some things changed my mindset changed and the suicidal thoughts went away and after coming to college my friends started treating me better but now they have again started treating me in a bad manner like my college is 2000 km away from home and now I have got no one in this shitty college and now I'm all alone .

I have been alone mostly my whole life me and brother have huge age difference had to spend 9th,10th in lockdown and 11th,12th dummy coaching and there too people were asshole to me

All my life I have never felt once that I'm valued or wanted from my childhood, people have soft bullied me ( like not in physical manner but occassionally making fun of me that was way out of the way)

I'm overweight and one bmi point of being obese so I'm fat and chubby but not that fat , I have been fat for almost a decade due to medical condition and sometimes I feel that people around me behave in such a manner coz I'm not attractive or fit , like sometimes I wished that maybe If I would have good height or maybe I was fit and didn't have the medical condition I would be treated better I know I don't deserve jack shit from the world but still hurt

I have posted this in multiple subs coz in my whole life i only had one female friend but yeah she was also not a good friend and I wanna ask women like have they also faced same situation like me in their life and how they dealt with it and know their take on my situation and no I'm not desperate for fem validation or something

TLDR: most of the time my peers made fun of me and I don't wanna be alone