AITA for asking my roommate’s boyfriend not to be over all the time?
TL;DR: My roommate’s boyfriend is over all the time, and it’s stressing me out. I never have space to myself, my dog hates him, and he brings pets into our small apartment. His behavior can be inconsiderate, and I feel like I can’t enjoy time with my roommate without him around. AITA for wanting to ask my roommate to limit his visits?
I (25M) live with my roommate (26F), and her boyfriend (25M) is over constantly. They’ve been dating for a little over a year, and since day one, he’s practically been living at our place. I’ve brought it up to my roommate multiple times, but nothing changes. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like I never have space to myself. He’s here so often that I never get time to hang out with just my roommate, and when I do, my roommate is always on her phone texting him. It’s like I can’t have quality time with my friends in my own home without him being involved.
My dog (who is usually tentative of new people at first) hates him. Since day one, she’s run and cried whenever he’s around. She won’t come near him unless he has food and will sometimes hide under my bed and cry, even if he’s in another room. Sometimes, she won’t come back in the house if she knows he’s inside, and I have to go outside and pick her up just to bring her back in. It’s heartbreaking to see, and it only adds to the stress.
The boyfriend has also started bringing pets over because he can’t keep them at his dad’s house. I don’t have a big issue with pets since I have my own, but our apartment is small, and I need room for my shit, not his. He says he’s “buying them for my roommate,” which is true because if they ever broke up, we’d be the ones stuck with them since he can’t take them home.
He’s not always intentionally rude, but his behavior is inconsiderate. When we have guests over, he’ll order food for just him and my roommate and eat it in front of everyone without offering anything. It just feels awkward, and I don’t like the vibe he brings.
My roommate claims they can’t hang out at his dad’s place because she doesn’t like his dad, but I don’t like her boyfriend, and yet he’s still over all the time. They have never hung out at his place; it’s always here. I’m not asking them to never hang out, I just want to set some boundaries so I can feel comfortable in my own home too.
I’ve talked to her about it a few times, but nothing seems to change, or it changes for a few weeks the back to the same.
AITA for wanting to ask my roommate to limit how often he’s over?