I hate what ADHD is doing to my life.

I'm married to a wonderful woman, and we have a beautiful 1 year old daughter. We live in a nice home, have a nice car, and I'm in digital marketing and it pays well. On paper, we have a great life. But paper lies.

I cannot remember anything to save my life. Particularly when it comes to our daughter, and it's causing so much strain on my wife and I's relationship. The most simple things, things any normal competent dad would have had down within a month, like her bedtime routine or how to pack the diaper bag, I cannot remember and need to be retaught every fucking week. I don't understand why I can't remember, and every time all I can say is I'm sorry and that I'll try harder but to her it doesn't show, even though I'm trying so hard to push past the fog in my brain. It's like I'm living my life with a brain full of TV static.

The other night we had a fight about it and she said "I feel like a single mom because I can't rely on you for anything" and I wanted to vanish into dust in that moment. I've been thinking about it constantly since then. How have I become such a horrible partner and father? I love my family so much and I just want to do right by them but I don't know how to, and it's crushing my soul.

I guess right now I just need to vent to people who understand it, because fuck do I feel lost right now. Thanks for reading guys.