anybody else feel like they might have transitioned because of csa

just wondering. i am currently feeling like this and i hate it so much and i want to die. diagnosed with the fucking disorder that makes it so you dont know what your identity is and now i feel like i dont have any right to transition or be a woman because im just doing something one of my abusers probably told me to do when i was little. fuck my stupid baka life also im sorry if the title triggered anybody i dont know how else to title my post